two months and counting

It's been two months and counting since I made a comment online about anything! I've been tied up with a lot of changes and a lot of travel including India and Brazil, not to mention the new city of residency and a new job that is as much work as it is fun ... that's my excuse and I am sticking to it.

Having accepted the fact that I would have to live on the road for the better part of each month I am kick starting my writing skills on the road, sitting at Miami International airport in transit from Sao Paulo, Brazil to San Jose, California. Sitting here enjoying a perk of the travelling job (free Internet on the road), I can watch with detached amusement the chaos all around me, a chaos caused by mechanical failures and snowed out airports. The holiday season only gets more frustrating instead of the supposed peace of mind and job its supposed to bring to each person.

I have had so much to say and have said so little ... not that it has any bearing on the earth's rotation. So knowing my place in the cosmos, I'll refrain from boring you with my dull ramblings ... for the time being ... and attack you with all vengeance once I have renewed my brain cells.

I am an Uncle

I am an Uncle as of 2:40P.M CST October 11th!!!!!!!!
Introducing Mr. Hansel John!

The case for war

Its finally time that I get into the war debate, four years after it began. I see that the rhetoric has shifted too and the momentum has clearly swung the anti-war way, atleast most of the noice is coming from the anti-war lobby. What an oppurtunate time for me to defend it

It’s often been said, and rightly so, that for evil to prosper good men do nothing. I have read and heard about the Sheehans, the Moores, the Clooneys and others of the ink who seem to think a little to highly of themselves then they ought too, while sneering down on plebeians like us for not seeing their point of view. Before I dwell deeply into it, I think a little background - from my viewpoint - is needed.

Iraq is this country formerly part of the region called Mesopotamia and it has tons of oil. The westerns, namely the British, the French, the Americans and the Russians, try to overrun it for the oil with a mixed success rate. And there is this guy called Saddam who rises up in Iraq and takes over the ruling party that had previously deposed the King and becomes “the President” with 100% of all eligible votes (It was just a ballot with his name on it). So like any dictator, he had absolute control of the country with no open opposition (Even closed opposition had to be outside the border) also modeling the South African style, he was part of the minority community. A very mitigating factor in his favor was that he had a neighbor that the west hated more than they hated him, and so they fought with his authoritarian rule against the totalitarian rule, helping him with biological and chemical weapons.

Once that war got boring, the west (America), lost focus which normally happens here with a change of COC*, and forgot about the tons of biological and chemical weapons! And then Hussein probably committed his biggest and only mistake, he got greedy and decided for whatever weird reason that he was Nebuchadnezzar and wanted to rule another country. Unfortunately for him, it was the end of the cold war which left Bush Sr. with a ton of old arsenal. So they bombed him back to his city and then chickened out before they could get the job done (just like some people are trying to now). The regime changed and America’s sometimes flawed foreign policy was in full affect, the new COC was more interested in a certain Ms. Lewsenski than in an old guy who fished using grenades. Then 9/11 happened and people wanted blood, Bush Jr. saw his opportunity to leave behind a legacy. Afghanistan was easy, but then it was not enough, the next logical choice was between doing something in Sudan, Iraq, Iran or North Korea. Sudan only had its deserts as a prize ditto for North Korea, albeit it had more forest cover. Iran was too powerful to take on while Iraq seemed much easier, with Sadam’s regime in taters due to a decade of sanctions. The administration knew they could use the chemical and biological weapons as an excuse, after all wasn’t it the US that provided it. It was a win-win situation, American’s largest and most powerful lobby (the gun lobby) could make a ton of money for replenishing the arsenal and the second most powerful lobby (Read the oil lobby) could finally get control of the second largest oil reserves in the world.

Then all hell broke loose, Sadam was and has been much smarter than they expected in hiding the weapons, or probably he had already used it all up, what with having to put down a plethora of revolts after the first gulf war. The administration had not been prepared for a long drawn out battle, also they had believed their own propaganda that technological superiority was enough on the battlefield. They also failed to understand that a dictator never has the whole country against him; there is always a section of people that have benefited from his patronage, who would feel the heat when he is gone. A prime example is the non-white sympathisers of the British Empire who are now citizens there. They went there as the empire was falling, rather than risk loosing their lives in their home country!

This should be enough of a digression.

So why support a war which has seen its opposition grow exponentially each day? ‘cause once the cacophonous rhetoric from either side is dissected, it will clearly emerge that the issue is more complex and greyer than both sides want us to believe. At the core of the issue as I see it is, not the WMDs but deciding when the issue is internal to a sovereignty or and when it becomes imperative for the world to step in. Don’t know if many of you remember the person called Ahmed Chalabi, he was part of an umbrella Iraqi opposition group that wanted to topple Saddam and took the normal Iraqis’ plight to various governments. Some of his information, which was heavily relied upon by the US government, on WMD have been shown to be false, for which he is in the dock right now. Looking at it from another perspective, the lies could be the sign of a desperate group of people tired of living under a draconian ruler. Indians should be well aware of such feelings, Netaji Subash Chandra Bose allied with the Japanese during to the Second World War to fight the British colonists in India.

The same people who are demanding US withdrawal are also asking for foreign intervention in Darfur! These also are part of the same group of individuals that want the international communities to do something about Iran and North Korea and Tibet and Taiwan and … the list goes on. Is there a double standard here or is there a lack of spine to face difficulties. Is running away at the first sign of trouble the mark of any self-respecting nation? Like dad used to compare certain cribbers to asses that would bite when you stand in front and kick you when stand behind.

Another rhetoric has been the human cost of it, the sacrifices of the soldiers and how they did not sign up for this. If the soldiers and the marines did not sign up for war what did they sign up for, guard duty in a safe place in the middle of America in a air conditioned room? I say this having seen and been with immediate family members in all wings of the Indian military including two active duty members in the navy currently. Some might say that I have not served in the army so I wouldn’t know, all I have to say is that if I joined the army I wouldn’t crib about it neither would I like anybody cribbing for me. To see civilians asking for withdrawal using the causalities as an excuse is not only a grave affront but is also short sighted. Those who have died or have been injured didn’t do what they did for nothing. The people who join the armed forces are not fools who do not know what is expected of them and if they are not ready to stand up then they have no reason to enlist. Like a ship is only useful if it is able to loose sight of land, the armed forces is not an ornament that a country wears but is there for a very specific purpose. The world’s supposedly greatest army does not earn its colours by staying home.

This also fits in well with larger problem of an opportunistic American foreign policy. If we just drop everything and walk out of Iraq right now, there would be anarchy there and it would have been better if we had not tried to help them out. The last sentence probably made a few of you snigger, but that is the truth according to NoViCe! The Iraqis were living under a dictator, and there is no going around it. There are probably a few other more notorious totalitarian regime in the world, but there is no established pecking order that the world can use to dismantle them. The muddle foreign policy was the one that prevented the job from being finished in ’92, which also probably caused the death of thousands of Iraqis who rose up in revolt against Saddam and then were left to die by a weakened American foreign policy that withdrew at the first sign of trouble.

I remember as a kid hearing about the letters that some churches in Indian received from certain extremists’ organizations like RSS and VHP - as the right-wing BJP was gathering a wider foothold in India – threatening them with expulsion from their Indian once they come to power. As absurd as it might sound right now, my immature mind started thinking of what happens when the state turns against its own people. I wondered if any other country would help us or if the rest of the world would even bother. Now that the world has done something about it in a country that needed it, with any number of hidden agendas included, we can only stay the course.

We cannot under any circumstances let the terrorists dictate terms to us, we would not be really free if we are not ready to make any sacrifices whatsoever. The news of the torture and killings that emanate from Iraq and Afghanistan only tend to fortify my opinion that we must stay the course. Would I like to stay in a country where I am told what to wear, eat, think and say or in a country that has high terrorist activity with my freedom intact? It’s like asking if I would like to die once with honour or die everyday of fear.

In every country the views that get the most exposure is not the majority opinion - which more often than not is middle of the road – but the opinion of fringe groups from both extremes that tend to muddy the whole affair.

Until we are able to see above ourselves, our family, our city, our state, our country we would not have really lived. This is the time for action and its either a free world or back to the stoneage!

*Commander-in-chief

Odyssey - Book 2 - Chapter viii - The RoadTrip

9 Days; 3600 Miles (5800 Km); 9 Cities; 17 states; 2.4 GB of pictures; 6 tapes worth of video footage; 65 hours of driving and a deep hole in the pocket, mix it all up and what do you get? The great American roadtrip. After all my travels so far, it was finally time to make a official full function roadtrip. And what better way to do it than to use your parents as guinea pigs for the same! At the end of the day they did enjoy it!

As any great roadtrip should start, ours started with a plan, that there would be no plans. We knew where we would begin and end, while the middle was kinda(a lot) fuzzy.


The practice runs for the long drive ahead was me commuting two hours to work(one way) each day of the previous week, ofcourse I had to take the last day off to preserve my sanity being destroyed by Chicago's traffic and prevent me from using my Marlin 30-30 in a way that would put me in the dock. Not only was it some of the craziest traffic I have seen on uncle Sam's road, but the way people drove below the speed limit to talk on the cellphone/put on makeup/eat during the only time the Interstate seemed empty irked me to no end! If there must be laws of the road it must be for such people ... also the smart Aleck that assume they were going really fast while the vehicles on the right side of the road were flying past them, need to either have their eye's checked or their brains exploded. Anyhoo now that I have sung my sob story, on to more better and beautify things

The trip itself started off good, Chicago's traffic delay was compensated by Indiana's open roads and 70mph speed limits, with our first stop in Dayton, Ohio at Ravi's place. Its always fun to watch the parents of bachelors trying to scheme together on changing the relationship status of theirs sons. Ravi came out the worse in this round with my parents getting enough info on him to add his profile to mine. A trip to the Air force museum would have been good but with a schedule like ours there was just not enough time.

Day two was a whole lot of traveling with a pit stop in Atlanta on the way to Tallahassee. Had a fellow traveler, Mike, join us on the leg from Atlanta to Tally. The pit stop was also a meet and greet with Katie and her family, who were unfortunately calling a hotel room their home 'cause of their neighbor's sewage leakage, something that I thought happened only in India. Just a side note, Atlanta is a place I would love to live in, it's got all the charms of a Big city with a markedly less amount of the problems. And ofcourse it south enough that I don't really have to worry about waking up every winter day to snowfall!

Tallahassee, which was next on the list was the only place that we stayed the whole day for, as always courtesy of Koshy and aunty. My parents got a top class guided tour of the town and university courtesy of none other than your's truly. Had a wonderful lunch with a few of my friends (If 40 is few) and their family. Learnt that mom's are the same all over the world, after hearing that Mrs. Owens had concerned with my mom on have being clean shaven with a short hair looks better on me. Parents! always old fashioned, they don't understand the effort it takes to look uncomly and unkept with holes in the clothes! While in Tally my dad decided that Florida beaches were in noway better than the ones in India, also he 'felt' it would sound cooler to tell people that he had been to Niagara rather than St. Augustine! I was all game as this saved me three hours of driving!

Day four found us slowing snaking through the picturesque Smoky mountains. Incidentally it is called so because of a natural blue colour haze that hangs over the mountain ranges. It's a place I would recommend for a weekend of camping, if you ask me nice, I might even tag along!

The following day was spent traveling to Washington DC - one of the two things that has impressed me the most in the US of A, the other being July 4th fireworks. On the other hand my parents seemed to be more impressed by mobile homes, they just couldn't comprehend the sight of moving homes. DC by night or day is a sight to look at. The monuments and the Smithsonian museums and the way the buildings are planned around each other thought I am yet to see the insides of any of these museums, a task for the next trip there. I recommend parking at the Union Station and taking one of the trolley tours around the city. Its a good way to see the city at your own pace. We did it in half a day, since we only walked around a few of the monuments. The last time I was there with a bunch of college kids, we walked to all the monuments, grossly underestimating the distance between them 'cause of their size. They are so huge that they look like they are just a block away. If get a chance to go there check out the golden Pegasus behind the Lincoln memorial on the way to Arlington cemetery.

The time saved by not going to the beach also helped us make it to NYC between DC and Boston. It suited well for me having seen NYC by with Ramya and Rajeev, this time was a good opportunity to see it by night, probably the only time you could drive in it without hitting somebody. But then for a person who learnt his driving lessons in the streets of chennai this only brought back fond memories of the lawless traffic back home. Its probably the Indian cabbies who transplanted the Indian style of driving to NYC. The highlight of the trip was driving through a city park and being stopped by a undercover cop for doing it. All I had to do was feign ignorance of any law that prevents us from driving inside a park and across a monument! Add a little bit of a hard to understand accent and you are home scot-free. This was also the day for me to try Korean food right next to the empire State Building. At that moment I felt like how countless Americans feel inside an Indian restaurant, the pictures on the menu helped, thought not enough to allow my parents to finish what it was they ordered. I'll try anything ones!

Day seven was probably the easiest of the whole trip with only a driving of 4 hours to Boston from NYC, thought it was the most expensive tollwise. Don't understand whatsup with the Northeasterners trying make us pay for all their roads, and to boot its not even cheap. The hotel that I stayed in Boston was probably the most snobbiest ... be warned of Club Quarters, unless ofcourse you are CEO of some MNC. In other things though Boston is pretty nice, it's old but nice.

Day eight brought us to Niagara falls, just after the lights had be been shut. Though we did get a good view early morning of day nine. If somebody tells you that the Canada side is better than the American side of Niagara ... don't believe them!! I have seen it from both sides and they are just different. You get to go to the goat island and the three sister's island on the American side while its all big towers and hotels on the Canadian side. Though you do get to see the rainbow clearly from the Canadian side.

There was no rest even after we came back since my parents had to leave the early next morning. But then again sleep is overrated.

All in all a definitely wonderful try without any untoward incidents whatsoever. It was so good that it has warranted a posting on my main blog. But then again with all the confusion of the past few weeks, I really haven't written much of a post.

Here are some pictures from the Trip ...

Chicago

Sep 20, 2006 - 27 Photos

RoadTrip

Sep 20, 2006 - 248 Photos

The riddle of the right and left hand!

I am still not off the topic of charity, 'cause I missed the most important aspect of giving ... forgetting. No not forgetting to give but to forget that you gave. Not only does this keep your ego in check but also helps in differentiating between a loan and a gift.

The reason I call it important is because I have struggled with this aspect of giving for as long as I know. There have been several occasions when I have boasted about my giving, there is a very fine line between boasting and edifying, a line I have crossed many times. I can blame it on my youth but not anymore.

A few of you would have figured out what the title refers to, for the rest here is the meaning: it refers to a sermon of Jesus which talks about how even your left have should have not know what your right had is giving. Though it sounds absurd the crus of the matter was that you are not to do good for the sake of showing off. Its principle that few even attempt, something that I have only seen in a very few people, like my dear friend Koshy living in Tally.

I have never come across a person more ready to help a stranger than him and more importantly not willing to remember his help to others. He could care less weather you are grateful or not, and even if you are of the not variety, he would still help with all his might. There have been times when I myself have called him a fool for the all out way he goes to help people but he is content to disregard it with a shrug of his shoulders. All he ever quotes is the Bible to prove that its better to give without expecting because his aim his eternal life and not worldly riches.

This is an aspect of giving that would not sound as important unless you believed in something more important than us. That there is a God and that he rewards us with eternal life. Some might even say that its not really giving unselfishly because, we are expecting something in return from the "higher power"! And they maybe true, because at the end of it we crave for happiness and contentment.

But I would rather crave for fulfillment rather than hold my giving and my helping as a stranglehold on the people benefited by it. This is something that not only helps in giving but even in our relationship ... so many relationships could be saved if we did all our kind acts without expecting anything in return. I used to always wonder how Koshy kept his faith in humanity after meeting so many 'unappreciative people and then I realized that he never expected anything for himself from them.

I have heard so many people tell me that they would only do more for others if there were more appreciative people around, which made me realise that they only wanted to give so others would speak well of them and not for the sake of giving. As I wrote in the previous post, people need kindness more than material help, so all your giving is going waste if giving itself is not your ultimate goal.

So here's hopin that more people would give and live above themselves!

Give without expecting, receive without forgetting

The essence of Charity!

Charity
- The theological virtue defined as love directed first toward God but also toward oneself and one's neighbors as objects of God's love.
- Benevolence or generosity toward others or toward humanity.

The charity I am talking about is the King James version (KJV), unrequited love towards all men, not the one that is commonplace now, giving to score brownie points. The human ingredient of love in giving is the most important part of it, more than all the other factors put together. Also in the KJV version of the bible, the word charity is used in place of love.

Give early, give Always

I once read somewhere that charity is not throwing a bone to the dog but sharing a bone with the dog when you are just as hungry as the dog. I am not suggesting that we need to get into an unenviable position to help others but that our own circumstances must not be a hindrance to acts of charity.

The excuse given my most people I know for their lack of charity is the hardships that they themselves are facing. They want to give back once they have more money and worse some even suggest that all the richer and more powerful people should practice charity before they do it themselves. The problems with this logic are that there is now set limit for more money and its all was the poor who give and not the rich. From experience I have come to realise that there is no limit to wanting more money, I am just as broke now as when I was earning 1/5th of what I earn now (With a definite increase in material possessions).

The only way to break out of this circle of waiting-to-give-when-you-have -more-money is to give when you have no money. I have my parents to thank for, for instilling in me the sense of charity by first practicing it in all circumstances and by initiating me into it even with the first real money I ever made (Incidentally it was an inconsequential amount won in quiz competition). It was also their persuasion that made me realise that if I didn't give when I had the burden of the student and other loans, I wouldn't give when I had no such burdens. There have been times when even some of my close friends have questioned my wisdom in giving when I could have used it to close all my debts and there were even times that I myself had doubts about my decision. But now that I look back on that decision, I am convinced without a iota of doubt that it was one of the best decision that I have ever made.

Its pretty simple to see why I wouldn't have been able to give now if I didn't give then, my needs and comforts have dramatically grown with my pay scale, giving them a run for their money, and anybody who has had the 'privilege' of knowing me would know that I am not given to moderation when it comes to the good things in life ... oh what a waste it would have been!

Before you all start thinking that I am trying to blow my own horn, I am just trying to pass on some practical advice that I got, with a living proof in me. Of course it is not for everybody, but then again what is?

Give cheerfully

I had always wondered what Jesus had meant when he said God loves a cheerful giver, and then it struck me, that He was trying to make the point that people would remember the spirit and cheer in the gift long after the gift itself is forgotten. As I said earlier charity is more than monetary and material gifts, its the heart that makes the gift worth it. A kind word and a smile with your act of charity is of infinitely more value than just the act of charity alone. What the needy like all homo sapiens need more than money is a cheerful face that makes them feel wanted. It is the only need that cannot be bought, it has to be given.

The other more compelling reason for giving cheerfully is more self centered. For the only reward of KJV charity is happiness and contentment. As any financial advisor will tell you that the less you invest the less you get back, if your giving is cheerless, don't expect any returns of happiness and contentment. Far worse, charity without cheerfulness looses itself.

Be good stewards

Some people think that giving is just to cut a check out to every Tom dick and Harry, which more often than not is foolish. It is your hard-earned money, so treat it the same way you would treat your own business dealings. Personally I keep track of all beneficiaries of my charity and have a goal to reach certain groups of people through education, maybe I could expand on it but for now I know my target group and that's what each of us needs. Its always a good idea to have a field of focus, even Bill Gates is not capable enough of solving everyone's problem. Try not to go with the crowd all the time (sometimes its prudent to ignore this), and focus on small issues that really get a hold of you and consume you with passion. The passion of a motivated heart is insurmountable.

The reason for being good stewards is pretty obvious, there are some rotten apples who are out to make a quick buck and some issues which may not really be an issue like the society to promote vegetarianism (I could be wrong about that ha-ha). It also ensures that Charity is available where its due and not in the back pocket of a conman. Also you don't have to sow where somebody else already has already.

Be innovative

All the previous rules lean more towards material or monetary giving, so what if you can't afford to give any such thing. There is always something to give in everybody no matter how high or how low you might be in the natural food chain. Time is more important than money and more often than not it is much more in short supply. I would love to spend more time on my passions but unfortunately I hold a job that consumes most of my time. Its always best to give what you have than to say that you have nothing to offer the world. Charity is not for the Bill gates of the world but also for the Toms and Dicks and Harries.

If you have money, give money;if teaching skills, then teach;if organising skills, then organise;if caring, then care; as the parts of the body are different and equaly important so are all these different forms of charity.

At the end, What you spend is forgotten, what is save is for somebody else but what you give is what remains, there are people who keep it all for themselves and become poor and those who give away everything and yet get richer.

"And now abideth faith, hope, charity(love), these three; but the greatest of these is charity(love)" - 1 Corinthians 13:13

While I am on this subject, just an update on the kids that come for the evening school run by "Falcon Foundation" in Chennai... It's been great going so far and the number of kids has stayed constant so far, with a marked improvement in their academic abilities. Planning to get a few computers so they can start on it at a early stage. Also looking for other locations to start up a similar evening school and a adult education program. Soon you should be able to get more updates on it's own website.... and no this is not a plea for money :). If you have any brighter plans for the slum kids talk to me ;).

An eye for an eye

5:45 P.M : he was excited, it couldn't have come sooner, he would become a man or so he thought. He was a year older and ready to take on the world, after all he has proved to be a great elder brother, yes he knew he was a grown up now … officially. At ten years he was a typical boy who wasn'’t old enough to drive and thought he was too old to be called a kid. It was his birthday, and as was family tradition they were going to have a party at the local ice cream shop. Life couldn'’t be better!

9:45 P.M : He woke up with a start, how couldn'’t move there was a seething pain going through his body, people shouting and running all around, he tried to cry out for his mom and dad without any affect, he was scared and then the drugs took effect.

Three days later: His grandparents were there and so were some of his cousins but his own parents and sisters were no where in sight. He did not know the loss his grandparents had suffered, they had lost three kids on the same day. He was crying now, all thought of being grown up far away. He wanted his mom's kisses and his dad'’s strong arms, where were they, where was his baby sister who was always getting in his ways?

One month later: He now knew that his parents weren'’t coming back neither was his sister. He wasn'’t going to be the big brother anymore, just a person growing up alone. He knew the people who did it, though he couldn'’t comprehend their rationale, but it didn'’t matter now for he was going to have his revenge. His sole purpose in life now was to see the same pain inflicted on those that he thought were responsible for this pain ... and he knew he was going to succeed.

15 years later ...

It was one of the biggest wedding's in the city, people had come from far and wide. It was not often that people had something to cheer about in these trying times and yet they still had hope. One moment there was dancing and good natured revelry and the next moment the sky was falling. Scattering bodies, bones, blood and bricks, producing with it more righteous anger and revenge filled hearts.

So the cycle continues all over the world...

You can substitute any nationality in the above story and it would fit, giving a template for the cycle of war that continues around the world.

I once read a story of a boy asking his parents on how wars start ... now I know the answer 'cause war never really end, it just waits for more angry people to be born.

The only way is forgiveness, an oft used word that is never really practiced. The world is divided everywhere because of stiff-necked leaders with vengeanceful souls I n their command. From Kashmir to the middle east, from Korea to Sudan, normal people just want food while the incompetent leaders rule the only way they know, by making martyrs and murderers.

PURE UNADULTERATED HELL!

I had a couple of topics in mind that I wanted to write about, something I hadn't had the time for in the past several days. And then today I heard some dolorous news from one of my very dear friend, who decided to write her pain away, so here it is in her own words, much better than I could ever pen it or feel it.

29th July 2006

The following is written by a Ms.Graceful Girl-Next-Door who is well-educated and lives in India and whose Arranged-engagement got cancelled today, a few weeks before the engagement date, due to some Silly "Official" reason, the real reason being the Guy's obsession towards Skin Color and Appearance - the guy who first saw her in a saree in which she apparently looked "beautiful-and-fair" enough for him to give a green-signal to the "Marriage Process" (which meant that the Engagement and Marriage Dates to be decided and close friends and relatives could be informed about the engagement) and who later saw her at her office in a churidhar. Probably it was the sun or scorching heat, she apparently looked "dark" enough for him to have his second-thoughts and for God-only-knows-what reason continued to talk to her over phone/mail about nothings and somethings until yesterday when he was supposedly fully occupied in his "MEETINGS". The Bombshell was delivered at 7:00 AM via a call from the Guy's mother who kept parroting about the Silly "Official" reason while her parents were trying their last attempt to somehow salvage the situation, in vain.

Have you ever cried so much that there are no more tears to shed?

Have you ever seen your usually introvert father who loves you, cry aloud in front of you, because of the pain he sees in your eyes?

Have you ever tried to suppress your emotions and your tears just so that your aging parents may find a little peace, at least in front of you?

Sound dramatic???

Well...let me tell you by experience, if you've experienced the above, it means a part of you dies.
Yes, a part of me died...today. At 7:00 A.M to be precise. I read somewhere that, when you are in pain, if you pour your anguish out into words, the pain eases. So, I am trying this out now, as I think, writing is something I am good at.

For those who know me...
I am what you call an extrovert, a person who loves to smile and laugh, a girl who loves to find humor in everything and a loyal friend to a lot of good people. And now, this instant, I am really not sure if I will be really able to smile, ever in my life.

All this because of a person who doesn’t deserve any tears! A person who is so shallow, so selfish, so uncaring and so faithless, that I know I am lucky not to be associated with him any more. Yes, heart-in-heart, I am glad that I need not even talk to him anymore and pretend that everything is just fine...Pretend that we are going to live happily ever after, even with all the basic differences between him and me...Pretend that I am one of the few lucky people in the world for whom arranged marriage would really find my better-half. But at that time, I didn’t even realize how I hated that pretense. Looking back, I admit that I should have really listened to the most important person in my life...ME!

And may be things would have ended differently.

What if I had stopped the "process" instead of him?? I would have had to spend sometime to make my parents understand the situation and I am sure they would have helped me out. I would have been termed ‘Arrogant and un-compromising’ by the Guy's people about whom I don’t and won’t care. At least, I wouldn’t have seen the pain in my parents' eyes. And now, I’ll never know what would have happened if I had stopped pretending and took matters into my hand and dealt with them by being just what I am...just by being HONEST to myself.

Now that the matters are really out of my hands, after the initial denial, shock and anguish, my foremost thought is freedom...I have a sense of freedom and relief...I am thankful and grateful for this chance to be honest to myself. My rational mind tells me that I should just forget this incident ever happened, that he didn’t deserve me and that I am better of without him.

But there lies the most difficult question, which I guess, eats anybody who is under shock and depression...

Why me???
Why should this happen to me? What’s the meaning of this? What should I learn out of this?
There are lots of people for whom the marriage "process" in this society is just a piece-of-cake.
Along with the parents, boy meets girl, they like each other, the 2 families like each other, engagement and marriage dates are decided, engagements gets over and marriage gets over and the life goes on with the promised ups and downs. Why me, who has been very particular not to hurt anybody, the process has to stop half way through?! Now that this has stopped, what should we tell our friends and relatives?

I guess I need not worry about my friends as they really know ME and are loyal to me.
The problem is, I am afraid that in situations like this, the so-called "society" plays this "Blame Game" - somebody is made the scapegoat for everything. And unfortunately most often, it’s the girl even if the real culprit, as in my case, is the boy. And for my parents' who belong to the earlier generation, it’s only understandable, that this is their primary concern. And now I have to rely on my reputation till date to save me from the "Bad Name"!! I really don’t want to care to what others think, having professed the same to others. But, being a social animal, I DO care.

Now comes the difficult part which is eating me...Am I not good enough for this "Marriage" Process which promises to fetch your better half? I know that I cannot be termed as "beautiful" or "striking". When I really dressed-up for an occasion, I can fall under the "Pretty" category.
So what?! That’s me. That’s the real me. I am a person who is trying to just live up to the meaning of my name. Even now, I still believe that my man should see the real ME...not what I wear or what color I am. I am being told there are some good guys out there who are not shallow...who value character more than color. I feel like a fool for trusting him enough to think that he will snap out of his obsession towards color and appearance. Apparently, he never did!

And the lessons learnt???
That’s for me to answer, right? First and foremost, I will be honest to myself and never compromise too much for this "Marriage Process". Now, one would wonder why there is "too much" in the above sentence. I am still realistic...I know that I need to make some compromise but next time, there will be a pre-defined limit to the level of compromise. And, next, probably this episode will make me more confident and push me firmly towards (at least) my career goals.

Truly speaking, as of now, my self-confidence is in shreds...but deep inside I know that I will make through this. And my self-confidence should be stronger enough to keep me out of Self-pity. I know wallowing in self-pity will not take me anywhere...it will just give me a few more tears (which I don’t want to shed for such an unworthy cause) and get sympathy from others (which I don’t need).

The above Rants and raves have been helpful to some extent in distracting me from my pain. Sometime during the period I was writing the above, I became a spectator of my own life.

The Big Picture... is promising.

I have escaped from a greater doom.

But today was HELL. PURE UNADULTERED HELL.

I won’t wish this on even my worst enemies. Well, I don’t have any...but still, that’s the phrase one says to express the depth of one's pain and hurt.

Probably tomorrow will be better….

There is HOPE. And thank God for that.

Knowing her, I know she has more than hope!

The castist Church!

I know its been some time since I have ruffled some feathers. So here I go again.

It all started out because of this issue called "marriage", and when it was determined that I like my peers had attained the marriageable age, the proposals have started pouring in putting me on the defensive.

These proposals have added a new word to my lingo, "caste" (I am a nadar if you must know) which has never been a part of the my conversational jargon, suddenly finds itself in preeminent position.

The fact of the matter is that there is a can of worms waiting to explode in the church in India, atleast the ones that the generational Christians belong to. It has always been a open secret that caste has always factored in the church inspite of no theological grounds for differentiation between people.

Some may argue that the denominational split in the Christian church gives some leeway for castism to be practiced within the church. Some other appeasers of castism use the example of the tribes of Israel, which cannot but be called asinine.

Before I get ahead of myself, for the uninformed the connection between my proposals and caste is that in India, its not just enough to have the same belief system (as in religion) but you need to be part of the same 'caste' or social system. Theoretically Christians and Muslims don't have the caste system. Which has prompted various 'lower caste' people to convert to Christianity, Islam and Buddhism.

The fun part of it is that the generational Christians have always been following the caste system specially when it comes to marriage and such. I can't speak for Islam or Buddhism but the non-castist nature of Indian Christianity is a farce.

So why this sudden outburst from your's truly? Because I just snapped, because I just want to make a stand, because I am crazy and most importantly because the God I know does not differentiate. And if he does not differentiate who am I to do so (Romans 14:4)?

I cannot stress enough the negative and demoralising effect of castism in general, but to have it as part of my creed just makes my blood boil. Those who don't learn from history are bound to repeat it ... and the Indian Christians haven't learnt anything from their western counterparts. I know it would be hard to wipe away, people being people, but looks like there is nobody ready to tackle the issue head on. What about me? me ... I am nobody, I can't even convince some of my own close relatives of the oxymoronic nature of a Christian caste system! So I do what I do best write about it and hope I can break down a few walls in the process.

I definitely have some earfuls coming my way for this post, but then again I got a thick skin and it is always funny to watch people defend something that is indefensible.

Those to whom arranged marriages seem incomprehensible, this additional castist corollary would only add to the mystery.

So here it is the gist of the whole post, castism has no place in Christianity ... for that matter no place anywhere else.

This is a call to arms against dowry and castism. Somebody has to so its gonna start with me!

“I have no color prejudices nor caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. All I care to know is that a man is a human being, and that is enough for me; he can't be any worse.” - Mark Twain

“Ideas are fatal to caste” - E.M Forster

Leaving Saint Louis!

So the change has been effected and I cannot reiterate enough what a big pain moving is!!! Atleast when you stop being the agile, mobile person with only two suitcases to your name!! The last two weeks have been so hectic and I have done so many new things and learnt a couple of trades that could help me with a job, if one day Computers stop working ... I can drive a truck or become a porter!!

I didn't know how much I could be stretched till today. The whole moving looked out to prove Murphy's law. Started out with U haul giving me a 26Ft truck instead of a 10ft one. I couldn't even cover the whole surface of the truck with my stuff. With the trailer on the back it was next to impossible to reverse on this!! I didn't know how friendless I was in Chicago till this move. Having mad Mike help me out in STL, it was so much more of a pain when I could get neither friends nor movers to help me unload in CHI!! Only goes to speak of my organising skills I guess! To top it all off U Haul decided to have fun with me by having me run around town for well over three hours in that blasted trucktrailer searching for a UHaul center that didn't exist.

Well the flip side to it all was that Murphy's Law wasn't really proved 'cause Mike made my loading and starting out a grand success, while I had a good Samaritan help me with unloading the couch and another helping me find the right UHaul place.

Actually the whole thing was an adventure, now I can boast to my grandkids of how I single handedly unloaded the whole truck (Ofcourse I am going to exaggerate) and maneuvered that huge truck with a trailer in city roads. Before the move I was fretting how I would going to effect it without any help on the way (a couple of my friends even called me a whiner!), but then at the end of the day when it was all done, it was not bad I guess these are the kinds of things that build character and also helps people say that they have been there done that!!

A few things I learnt on this move:

• If you are driving something tall watch for the over passes and trees ;)
• If you are driving something with a trailer the don't go anywhere where you have to back out off!!! I tried ... 50 feet in 30 mins!!!
• Lifting the bed, don't dig into the covering ... they tear
• Using UHaul ... don't!!! Uhaul service is horrible!!! I might even start a award series for this :D
• dollies don't help if you have stairs
  
• Spread out your books on different boxes ... in a single box they weigh a ton!
• If you don't need it throw it away ... including that PC magazine from 1995 that you still plan on reading ...
• If you can throw out the heavy stuff do it
• Don't let people who haven't done it, sucker you into believing how easy it is, and why you are a whiner for even thinking you need help!
• Finally if you can live off of two suitcases ... do it!!!

At the end of the what matters is if the juice was worth the squeeze, in this case the move worth the new place, so far the biryani I have been able to get is making me say yes!!!

Sleepless in Chicago

So have moved to Chicago (jus me for now) and what a change it is. In STL I had to drive 30 miles to go to an Indian restaurant, here there are more than three within a mile of each other. There is just loads of stuff around ... but then not the people I know. So its back to square one of making new friends ... then again I am supposed to be used to it by now.

The hard part of carrying my earthly possessions is still left undone, not for long though, its back to STL this weekend to finish the job.

The last two days have been spent in the hotel mostly, trying to catch up on the sleep that I have lost over the last couple of weeks. Sometimes its not too much fun to go through a new place without company but then again I am used to that too!! Only thing that the loneliness of the first few days does is to make you feel sorry for yourself and ask yourself what in God's own earth you are doing here. The moment the daily grind starts though its all forgotten.

So here's to a new beginning!!!

"“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."”

Change

I have heard it said that 'the only thing constant in this world is change', just to drive the point home life has proved it to me countless number of times. As things go its time for another change in my life, moving on to a different job.

I have just been offered a job in Chicago, around 4 hours from my current location. All this just as I was starting to enjoy life in 'the middle of nowhere'(St. Louis). Its a funny thing how you get used to a place, when almost always you started up hating it. I guess even the good changes are almost hard to get used to in the beginning.

Moving from a college town to a big town like St. Louis which was not really much fun, I told myself repeatedly how much I disliked it and was looking for the first opportunity to fly away. Two years can change things and perspectives I guess. I had been always under the impression that, the coast and the south were fun, what I didn't figure out till later was that it was the people and the environment that made a place fun.

Though I didn't meet too many people my age I did get to meet a lot of people who made my stay here worthwhile. The youth mentoring at the church is definitely the best time I had in St. Louis, and probably what I would miss the most. Those youth have encouraged and humbled me more than they can imagine.

It's always hardest to say good bye and leave familiarity, but for better or worse change has always been good to me. In this instance it would significantly increase my bank account. Like my mom always said, you can't have the cake and eat it too.

Through my journey through life so far I have had a constant companion in my Best Friend and he has guided and guarded my life so far. The best part of this journey has been the people he has introduced to me so far and the joy that he has provided me through the most gloomy of circumstances. I might not know what tomorrow brings but I know what waits me at the end of my journey. As in all endeavors the goal is want keeps me going.

The great equaliser - Football

Put your football cleats on its World Cup time! The Football (soccer to Yankees) is probably my favorite sport in the whole entire world. Its charm probably is in its simplicity. Two sides, one ball and all you got to do is kill the ball with a small space. You don't even have to buy a leather ball, paper rolled into the shape of a ball and held together with rubber band would do as well ... also forget part of the cleats, just need your two feet!

I was watching the Argentina vs Ivory Coast match yesterday and I was given many more reasons to love this game. I watched as a opponent got fouled and then in amazement the culprit giving the victim a hand to get up ... also saw a couple of opposing players patting each other after a particularly good dribble or shot. You would be hard pressed to see such scenes in any other professional team sports specially in America.

The sportsmanship was not the only thing that struck me, the fact that Ivory coast was observing a ceasefire for the duration of the world cup was a testament to the universal appeal of the game. If only it helped solved such situations permanently ... I know that is wishful thinking.

I have been talking to a couple of friends of mine who think its a girlie game 'cause you don't get t beatup on your opponent like in American football or Ice hockey and my only retort to it was that this was a poor man's game. This can be played in slums unlike the other aforementioned games. Also the slums have produced the best players the world has ever seen. This is the only stage in the world that the countries at the bottom of the food chain can beat the ones at the top. I remember playing in my school against the evening schoolers(from the nearby slums), they would literally cream up in our Nike cleats with their bare foot.

I know lots of people would like to say that the Olympics would hold the honour of uniting the world. I know the Olympics has its place but football is special, for the only reason that there is only gold and there are more people (Almost a quarter of the world's population) watching you kick the behind of the best countries in the world.

Its not without its fault. Racism in the European countries has been on the rise, and in a drastic measure, the captains of the teams read a massage against racism before each game. Its obviously caused by a fringe group of people.

The thing that irks me the most personally is the fact that the two countries with one third of the world's population don't have the capacity to qualify for this tournament while puny countries like Trinidad and Tobago could. I would easily like to put the blame on the system ... but countries like Ivory coast don't even have a system ... and then I realise what a great leveler football is!

BTW : My football jersy number is 4 and Maradona was the best football player ever!!!
Check out tamilnole.blogspot.com

A bird in hand

I was listening to the radio a couple of days back when I heard this song which goes something like 'A bird in hand is worth one in the bush is worth one on a electric wire', which instantly sounded like one of those meaningless songs that are the rule rather than exception now-a-days. And then suddenly realization hit me like a ton of bricks on a glass window, this song had a deeper meaning that I could ever imagine.

'A bird in hand is worth two in the bush' is one of those oft' quoted and misquoted sayings. The song though was at a entirely different level, subtle though it might be. How often do we esteem one person over another? How often do we put down one person to show up another? Or how often have we knowingly or unknowingly estimated one life over another?

I know what some of you are guessing, I am getting sensitive here (An unknown quality to me).

We thinking highly of a person in power more than the homeless. I have been in situations where somebody gets a place of honour just because they know somebody who is powerful. I don't want to get into the argument about how a person works all his life to be recoganised. The differences that I want to point out is in judging a person by the what he belongs to, by who he knows, by what society says rather than by what he is.

To further drill this point home, the sermon at my church last week was a eye opener. The Pastor passed around the flyer that wanted people to write down a list of various things that people thought were important. It ranged from important clothing brands to important women not in the entertainment industry. More often than not people picked the expensive ones for inanimate objects and people in power for the people centric questions. And then he proceeded to ask us why we didn't consider the brands that we normally use as important? Why we didn't consider our own relatives and friends as important? The worst part of it all was that he was right.

Our sense of importance seems to be highly wrapped and twisted. We cannot survive without our friends and family but we accord more importance to people we don't even know or will never meet. We don't consider the simple things in life that we cannot live without as important rather spending all that adulation on things that we don't need, that we would buy just to impress people we don't have to!

It was definitely an eye opener for me, atleast God is not a respecter of personsRomans 2:11, or I am definitely screwed(Pardon the French)

Ye shall do no unrighteousness in judgment: thou shalt not respect the person of the poor, nor honor the person of the mighty: but in righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour.
Leviticus 19:15

Check out my other blog tamilnole.blogspot.com

The Passion of the Code

I know I am joining the party late, oh well better late than never. All this rhetoric about the Da Vici code has finally gotten to me. I can't remember another book generating this kinda reaction from people in a long time since the Satanic Verses by Salman Sushide.

Though there is no scope for a fatwa here, there have been book burnings, call for banning and all other sorts of melodrama by people who want to wear their religious patriotism on their sleeve. Being a person of the faith that is technically at the receiving end of this 'book/Movie', I am left scratching my head if this what Jesus would do (WWJD).

From my 'limited' knowledge of the Bible I know that He asked us to famously turn our other cheek not talk about blasphemy and call for the head of people with different views. I have heard some people even call it treason! What I don't I don't understand is how can you commit treason against something you don't belong to? Technically I can't commit treason against Uncle Sam can I? Against India, heck ya! The asininity seems to have permeated people in all walks of life including the Vatican.

The film in itself doesn't seem to have made much of an impact like the book. Though I must agree that it was good marketing tactic jus like Mel used for the Passion Of Christ. And the Catholic church just bought into it lock stock and barrel.

The vacuousness of the whole opposition is that it would erode the faith of the 'faithful' which is a whole lot of balderdash, according to me ofcourse. The bottomline is that the church has failed in its duty to educate the flock. They have spent more time trying to figure out what the wordings of the doctrine is than to attend to the simple moral and religious foundation of its existence, the divinity of Jesus Christ. And now to put all the blame for the weakening of the faith on a two bit movie is not only preposterous but also just plain irresponsible.

I think its time for the church to start on its commission and let the burning and protesting to the others.

But I(Jesus) say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.
Mathew 5:44-48

Odyssey - Book 2 - Chapter iv - the South African

This is jus a teaser ... you would need to check my personal blog tamilnole.blogspot.com for the whole deal. I know I have been kinda lazy about this this month .... bear with me ... changes are coming ;).

The pictures of the wedding are here while the pictures from the trip are here.

Divide and rule!

A technique invented by the British imperialists, now perfected by the Indian politician. Divide they do by caste, creed, religion and geography, specially when its election time. This time round with elections occurring for five states in India.

The biggest divider this time around happens to be the "Human Resource Development" Minister Dr. Arjun Singh. He let out the cat among the pigeons by calling for reservation in the post-graduate level education at the premier educational institutions, medical colleges and private industries. It is a good election time gimmick to gather some votes, but it stinks of 'rasheadedness'.

At the outset let me state that I am not against reservation(caste/race based). Mainly because I do not have an alternative solution to it.

I just have an issue with how it is implemented. If the government spent as much time on primary education for the lower castes to bring them in par with the mainstream, we wouldn't have to resort to reservation at this level. There are certain fields that I believe should not be touched by reservation and the major area is medicine. I would feel safe to know that my doctor has the brains to get into medical college and has not had the medical degree forced on him due to reservation. It would be definitive be better to raise the standards of the down trodden rather than lower the bar. It would be oxymoronic, to call the Indian IITs and IIMs as one of the best in the world while we try to get in people under reservation.

In reality this reservation would only benefit the ricer of the lower caste, who have any idea of the perks of the system and would not really reach the intended audience of the lower income group. Instead of trying the top down model, the powers that be would be better off to try the bottom up model, if they really want to make a change.

The other interesting question that arises is how politicians implement such polarising moves with impunity. The cause lies in the fact that the middle class never really votes ... they are just happy to live a contended life with no social responsibility. What the politicians are trying to do is speak to the uneducated (Who incidentally is not helped in any by such measures) who speak the language of division. Its easy to get the loyalty of a person who does not understand the consequences of such actions and whose caste loyalty is worn on his sleeve.

If the middle class and the educated masses want to prevent such divisive policies from seeing the light of day, they would have to put aside their complacency aside and be ready to actively exercise their social responsibility. The best way to do it would be by voting (against such policies)!
P.S: For daily updates ---> The Odyssey

Wired

I know I am growing old, the 'generation next' has given way to the 'generation virtual'. Gone are the days when email and the occasional website were cool enough, now they are the bare minimum. In this day and age of instant gratification, instant relationships weren't far behind. Enter the networking sites to bride the gap. I remember learning the ropes of getting penpals across the globe first by using magazines and then through websites. Now its all about the instant messages, pictures, videos and a 101 different ways to communicate with mostly non-lasting relationships ... not that my penpals lasted too long :)

I, like everyone else, hate to loose touch with friends and these new modes of keeping in touch have almost eliminated the chances of loosing touch (Ofcourse there is no antidote to apathy or the technologically challenged). It has also spawed a new era of virtual relationships, that sometimes really throw you for a spin ;)

Before I continue here is a rundown of these sites that I am aware of!

• Orkut - This one is from Google. Sends you for a spin with its undependable server responses. Has a huge Indian/Hispanic presence and a good way for the IT guys to show how cool they are ... lets you set people's coolness,sexy and trusty levels. As expected I am non of those!!! Atleast according to this site. Lets you upload upto 12 pics and has a limit of 500Mb for each one.
• Hi5 - Huge Asian/Hispanic presence, and is more cumbersome than orkut. Makes up for it by letting you have complete control over your page. Lets you post unlimited numbers of pictures. Lets you give "Hi5" to your friends ... surprisingly I got a few of those. Also have friends of friends put up photoshop edited images of mine with their "friends".
• MySpace - Probably the most famous of these sites. I only became a member yesterday after being told about it by more than 10 people in a single day. Has more than 63million members and growing and according to a source the second most visited site currently. Comes with its own baggage of being too well known. Too much advertisement!!!
• Facebook - A networking site designed specifically for College and high school students in the US. Networks you according to your school or alma mater. You need a valid US college or high school email id to join. Lets people keep in touch by using the comments feature.
• Bebo - Mainly American presence, uses the person's school to network. Mainly used by High school kids, and before you all think I am a phedophile, want to remind you that I am still a kid ... at heart!

There are million others like Xanga, Ringo ... each tragetting a different demography, geography and social network.

They are indeed a great tool to keep in touch, I can't count the number of old friends that I have hooked up with 'cause of these sites. They also seem to fill the deep seated voyeuristic thirst of homo sapiens with all the wealth of information about completely random people! I am surprised by the amount of personal information that one can glean from these sites (Including mine). Obiviously in the race to be known by millions privacy ranks near the bottom.

The lack of privacy of most of these sites have led some colleges to even block access to them. A college in Texas just did it, while a school that my friend is working at, is very seriously considering the same measure. These are pretty fertile ground for sexual predators and stalker. Am not trying to be too negative but then that's the world we live in. Ofcourse I personally don't have the fear of being sexually assaulted, jus' 'cause who in their right mind would want to do it to me ?? Joking apart its always good to take personal conversation offline at such sites and maintain as much control on your own information as possible.

The other major sign of this new generation is the virtual social net that this has provided. For people who not only want to keep in touch with old friends but make new ones too this is one of the best option. It really speaks to the socially challenged to be bold and be people they really are not. I guess it makes them feel happy to have so many hundreds and thousands of "friends". All I can say is "whatever makes you happy".

I don't know how much of it is good, but it is indeed funny to see yesteryear's movies with virtual holographic girlfriends and almost seeing it in reality now. I am not a psychologist or a psychiatrist but I do know that these virtual relationships don't help in building any real people/social skills. I see so many of these people almost living in the virtual box with all their social interactions being virtual. Its almost like you a real life prep kid! The person across the network has noway of knowing you other than by what you write and that is an easy way out for people with things to hide or with a low sense of self-esteem. And this it not a sweeping generalisation of all users, but just a group of them.

This environment has almost no real consequences for your actions on it. You can say and do almost anything that you want and nothing is going to come off it. If you try saying more half the things that is said on these sites in India and you would sure to have a ton of bricks fall on you :). That probably is its huge appeal, the ability to be a rebel with out consequences.

Before I let you go take a taste of this virtual world, I'll leave you with a taste of what you can expect ... these are actual comments taken from these sites... these are the "pickup lines"!

hey ...sa wur profile...impressive...wud like to know more abt u ....so wat do u do ???. me in to advertising.................u?

Hi,this is ***** from hyderabad.I want to be your orkut friend.waiting for your scrap.byee

hey wassup dear????
u look like a die hard rock fan...is it sooo????
wat type of music u listen yaar????

These aren't even the funniest once :( where does all the information go when you really need it!!!

P.S: Sign up has started for the preview of the new look www.ulyssesdavid.com. Have finally started on this long overdue project. So if you want to be part of the beta testing team, let me know. Those signed up for updates would be automatically included ;). As usual don't forget your daily dose of tamilnole.blogspot.com

Odyssey - Book 2 - Chapter ii - The Village

The second trip of the year had to wait three months after the first trip. Another interesting trip as usual.

This was to spend Easter with a close friend Rajesh and also see the interiors of the US of A. Salem, Indiana is one of those places you would have to search on a map, set in the midst of hills and Ghat roads with a town hall right in the middle.

I can now claim to have stayed in the villages of America, thanks to this trip. Though I did crib about the time it took to travel through the winding roads, it was still fun to take the curves at 80MPH(128 KMPH). Not to mention flooring the gas to 125(201) on the interstate (I-64).

I-64 has been the best interstate that I have traveled so far ... no traffic and most importantly no cops!!! Was able to touch 125 and maintain an average of 80, not bad for one trying not to get another traffic ticket.

Also the trip helped me to meet up with an old friend in Lexington and experience the worst Indian restaurant I have ever been to (In the US). Shonda hope I didn't spoil your appetite for India food. The food actually was bad but the place was a dump ... probably because their A/C was out but that doesn't excuse the ton of onion skins that were all over the place.

This also was the first time that I had frog legs!! Yes frog legs and they don't taste like chicken ... they taste like frog legs. As we stay on food I need to add Ostrich, Kangaroo and Bison to my list of meat eaten, courtesy of the gun show that I attended a few weeks back. Those were some of the best jerkies that I have ever eaten.

Any description of these remote places of Indiana and Kentuky would not be complete without the town hall in the middle. I had always assumed that the town hall was in the center of the town/city as part of the downtown, not literally like I saw in Salem. It was indeed the center of the town and had a moat like road all around it so if you drive thro town you had a kind of traffic circle.

Check out the pictures here

Miles travelled : 960 Miles (1545 Kms)
No. Of States : 4
Top Speed : 125 mph (200kmph)
Average : 75 mph (120 kmph)

“Americans have more food to eat than any other people and more diets to keep them from eating it”

Check out my diary

Concrete Angel!!

...Somebody cries in the middle of the night,
The neighbors hear but they turn out the lights;
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate,
When morning comes it will be too late.

Through the wind and the rain,
She stands hard as a stone in a world that she can't rise above;
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved ...
---Martina McBride

Abuse is of those oft used words that I have heard but never seen in my own life. The amount of news and laws that I see in the US about it makes me wonder if I am living in an alternate universe. It almost looks as if the US is in some sort of sadistic self-decadent spiral, while India is unblemished by such effeteness.

Then you scratch the surface and it all comes tumbling down out of the closet. I have got to hear about these stories of sexual and physical abuse after all these years of believing that such do not exist in the India society. How wrong was I!!!

As with most things Indian, all such depravity have been swept under the carpet, under the guise of familial or personal honour. The sheer number of incidents that I hear about now, makes me wonder whether the protected childhood that I was so proud off has given me a skewed idea of the ways of the world.

The reasons for such abuses being swept under the carpet make me want to wring somebody's neck. Some of them have included "Oh he is my brother", "He is family", "You must have done something inappropriate" and the flat out "You are lying". This posture of people most close to the victims makes it a double burden to carry. The emotional scares are never really healed and nobody seems to take any notice of it.

India does not have a comprehensive child abuse laws. Only now is some effort being put into it, but the effectiveness of it is still suspect. Especially with the family trying to more often then not support the offender, it makes it almost impossible to deal with it.

The first time my nephew learned at school that he could dial 911 if he was spanked at home, scared the heck out of cousin. Now that I am seeing the world in a different light it all fits in somehow. I always imagined it was a western issue and that the eastern societal culture had no such problems. The new stories were all eye openers.

The fact of the matter is that most of the perpetuators are known and close to the victims which makes it all the more hard for the victim. Do you try to get somebody close to you arrested or would anybody believe you at all? The actions of the parents are all the more baffling in such situations. These are people who will give their lives for their kids but refuse to accept that their kid has been a victim of abuse. The worst is when the parent is him/herself the abuser, there really is no where for the kid to turn to in India currently

Don't get me wrong I am all for a pat on the butt once in a while... I have got quite a few stories to tell about that :). But when I was reprimanded at home I knew it was with love, I knew that I was still loved, only my action was not. But I guess there are enough numbskulls out there with a distorted view of appropriate punishments.

I might have made sweeping generalisations in the above paragraphs but somebody has to do it and who better to do it than me!

“Child abuse casts a shadow the length of a lifetime.”

Checkout some new pics at my diary
A good source for child abuse in India
P.S: Martina McBride is a country music singer and concrete angel is her hit single about child abuse. You need to check out the video for it ... really poignant.

Green Card!!!

No not green bucks!! Just a card, which states that you can have the rights that you pay your taxes for. Ask any Indian (For that matter any other national on worker's visa) in the US and he would be a subject matter on this, even somebody like me who will violently defend his plan to go back "home".

And before I continue, yes I have applied for green card. Now that the full disclosure is done ...

The reason for this post was a lunch discussion that I had with a few colleagues of mine on the merits of going back to India versus settling down in the US. And boy was there a wide gorge in our opinions. But the general consensus was that, it is a very personal choice that every individual has to make depending on his or her situation.

The thought process that went into deciding on staying in the US was led by the charge that India is woefully lagging in the technological advancement compared to the US. You just can't get an iPOD as easily in India was a favorite refrain. Add to that the noise and other sorts of pollution and corruption ... its a pretty dirty list, explained by a single phrase "standard of living".

On the other hand for people like me its the people that make all the difference. And in that I don't mean that people are better anywhere, its just that blood is pretty thick for me. That and plus I don't have to cook, clean or wash ... ever!

There is a third group of people who complain that they would go back if things got better. In sense the corruption, poverty and pollution went down and the standard of living went up. The catch in this line of reasoning is that there is nobody to take a lead to make a change. This is like asking someone to bear the pain so you can enjoy the fruit. Not that it's wrong in a capitalistic environment but doesn't it sound hollow when you act concerned but don't do anything about it. The road to hell is paved with good intentions

"The quickest way to a green card is marriage"

Check out my other blog that's updated more often and is more like a journal

Demartyred

If ever there was a word like that.... there seems to be a happy ending to the beheading ... there is not going to be one. Atleast not for the moment. Also depends on how soon he is wisked out of the country! Thats not where the story ends though, for the thousands of others like him. For them the fight for survival just comes out into the open.

I just couldn't stop the temptation to upload this ...

“You can never have a revolution in order to establish a democracy. You must have a democracy in order to have a revolution.”

Checkout tamilnole.blogspot.com

Martyred!!!

I know I said that I wouldn't dissect this topic but being me I just can't refrain from doing that. As I anticipated this issue took some time to develop into a major news story ... given the sensitiveness of the issue its a hot potato for all the governments involved and a hotter human interest story for the news syndicates.

This article spoke of how his family was the one responsible for reporting him to the police. Family honour is a much bandied and misused excuse in this part of the world. Having seen it everyday of my life I can't really blame the family for what they did ... they would always look at it with the prism of prejudice that they have grown up with.

I don't think this is a religious issue as much as it is a cultural issue. I bet most families in the east would disown their offspring for breaking ties with what they think is acceptable morality, spirituality or proprietyness, in a single word "tradition". Try pushing the boundaries of 'acceptable' actions and see how fast your friends dwindle and loved ones run away. Don't get me wrong I don't have any issues ... actually I do like and understand social responsibility, but then like all things too much of a good thing is not really good ;). I have always believed that "traditions were made for men and not men for traditions". It was the same two thousand years ago too, and Jesus called them "white-washed tombstones".

Honour killings are a part of everyday life in the some parts of the greater Indian subcontinent, probably already dwelled a lot upon it here. Being a part of everyday life doesn't make them alright... 'cause the ones that do happen don't really have honour at the core of the reason but some vested reasons of the perpetrators. There is not even a standard (as if there is a reasons for these killings themselves) for these killings, it could be as small as looking at one's sister to eloping with a person from a different caste/religion. But this is the first case wherein the free land's court is going to hang a person for a moral conviction. I know there are a lot of other Muslim countries that practice the shariat, but I haven't heard of any other country prosecuting someone for conversion.

Now that the western and other governments have started putting pressure on the Karzai government about freeing the person, it has got all the more complicated with no easy solutions in sight. Especially for the Afghan government its a choice between a rock and a hard place. But then it is also a chance for them to make a strong statement about their resolve to move in a different direction than one taken by the Taliban government.

I'll be back with more ramblings on this ...

Well I have also started a new blog to just write some person musings and something that would be updated more often than this (Hopefully!!!) also CrackerJack after a short stint here has decided to start his/her own blog pretty soon!! I am looking to change the format of this website but its still on the back burner at the current moment.

“Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you."
Matthew 5:11-12

What would you die for?

Just came across this news article on a death penalty case involving a afgan man who converted to Christianity 14 years back. The picture shows the bible that was seized from him.

apparently he could have avoided all this by just telling them that he is converting back to Islam, if only for namesake that would have saved him his skin. It is precisely this kind of moral courage in the face of insurmountable danger that baffles me. Call it faith or belief or any other thing ... it takes a lot of conviction to stand firm behind your decision. Some people may compare this to the kamakzie/suicide bombers and other "freedom fighters" who wouldn't mind killing for their belief. But there is a world of difference between them. Its easier to kill than to die for your belief ... people who kill are afraid that they could be wrong, while those that die have no such fear.

Being that I don't know, if I have his kind of moral courage yet ... I'll refrain from dissecting this issue and let you learn or be encouraged by this One Man ... Martyr to some, heretic to others.

"Give What You Can't Keep to Gain What You Can't Lose"

New World Order

I can vividly remember the Coco-Cola company coming into India, with the opening up of India's economy in 1992, as the first MNC riding piggy back on the shoulders of India's market leaders at that time the Gold Spot company, . Within a very short period of time Coco-Cola had flexed its muscle and staged a successful hostile take over of the company. The Thumbs Up pictured on the left and Limca are the only remnants of the old soda range. The flagship Gold Spot was replaced by fanta. The hostile takeover scared the other India companies to such an extent that all talks broke down between them and the MNCs for a whole year. So why this lesson in history? Two recent events ...

The first was me getting a case (24 count) of "Thumbs Up" from the India store. I remember how we used (still do) call Coco-Cola and Pepsi as a wimp's drink compared to Thumbs Up! So it brought back memories of how the fledging new open economy was attacked by the well loaded MNCs.

The second event ... flash forward 14 years and a technology boom later. The world has turned more capitalistic than ever (even red china), thanks mainly to the pressure of the US of A and the third world countries are finding the pros of having a capitalistic society. And then its protectionism all over again, this time from the flag bearer of the Capitalistic free society, good 'ole Uncle Sam. I am talking about the Dubai Ports Deal, which provided a common ground for both democrats and republicans. And it seems that prejudicial politics has overcome the basic tenets of free trade and a level playing field. Am I calling them racist .... no... its just shows that they are not ready for the new world order. How can a bunch of horse riders "barbarians" living in a kingdom gain a foot hold in their own backyard. I don't think there would have been so much furor if this had been a European "civilized" company.

This is not an isolated event ... across the ocean, France is trying to prevent Lakshmi Mittal (An India) take over Europe's largest steel manufacturer. And here racism is pretty apparent. They just can't seem to comprehend how a country that they controlled not more than half a century ago, would now have to the guts to come into their house and rule their ... steel. Its unthinkable for the Europeans who weren't below putting up "Dogs and Indians not allowed" signboard in India to now loose to an "Brown" owned company.

Welcome to the reality of capitalism ... its a dog eat dog world, the pandora's box has been opened and no amount of tears over job loss and out-sourcing is going to close it. The best thing to do is to get on your feet and eat before you are eaten.

It is hypocritical for feminists and intellectuals to enjoy the pleasures and conveniences of capitalism while sneering at it.... Everyone born into capitalism has incurred a debt to it.
Camille Paglia

Pro Choice Pro Life!

I am going to be an Uncle! And yes that is the ultra sound picture of my niece/nephew. So why is this leading to a pro-choice pro-life debate?? Seeing the picture and hearing about it from my sister has made me reevaluate my stand; that and the recent spurt of bills being tabled in different states (in the US).

I am one of those crazy fellows who lean towards pro choice while at the same time being strongly rooted in their faith. As much as this being one of the biggest issues in the good ole' US of A, it is almost inconsequential in the east (read India) where female infanticide is a way of life.

I guess I have already covered what I think about this topic and the cultural differences affecting it. What sparked this revisit of the abortion issue was when my sister said how the doctor her the measurements of the baby et all. That put a doubt in my mind whether abortion is really killing a human being?

This doubt is not strong enough to convince me that a person who is a victim of rape or incest shouldn't be given the choice to abort. And when the mom's life is in danger don't even ask me! As a side note I was almost aborted because I wouldn't come out :-). But it is strong enough to make me feel that its not a trifle thing to do ... when somebody kills a pregnant woman they are held liable for both the lives ... does that mean that in one instance the baby is human and another time it is just some cells?

This picture has definitely turned me from being strongly pro-choice to shaky pro-choice (excluding rape and incest)!

Some of my past posts on this topic ;)
3/13/2005
3/19/2005
6/30/2005

"Seventy-seven percent of anti-abortion leaders are men. 100% of them will never be pregnant"
Planned Parenthood advertisement

"The greatest destroyer of peace is abortion, because if a mother can kill her own child what is left for me to kill you and you to kill me? There is nothing between."
Mother Teresa